July 25, 2010

Genius in the House

Tokyo, which is one of the most cosmopolitan cities in central Japan has surprisingly few Indians. So one does not expect its people to be familiar with anything remotely Indian. However, due to the superior intellect of its local population, people here figure out my nationality within five to six hours of our initial conversation despite my not so obvious physical features (if normal people look at me, they think I’m of elvish descent. )

‘’You are from Indiaaaa!! “ They exclaim. “I love India. I love tandoori chicken and Gandhi. And Bollywood. I’ve always wanted to go to India”

Thanks to The Mahatma, India has truly been propelled onto the world stage. The man single handedly inspired a whole generation of youngsters to sport the ripped six pack abs. If there was no Gandhi , there would have been no dard-e-disco. And we wouldnt have had the phrase "I'm no Gandhi dude, if you slap me on my face, I'll kick you in your balls"

And Bollywood.

“We love Bollywood” proclaim my cosmopolitan friends from Pakistan, Srilanka and The Philippines “Who is that famous actor from your country ? We love his song sequences”

“Govinda ?”

“Yes yes, that’s the one. Govinda. What acting he has done in Zulm ki Hukumat yaar, simply superb”

Its truly heart warming to see people from far off places expressing familiarity with your mother land. And some great personalities have helped us accomplish this. Be it Govinda or Ace Tennis player Sania Mirza’s former fiance or the guy who played the third brother in Yaadon ki Baarat (the second was the famous Vijay Arora), the list of cultural ambassadors from India is growing by the day. However, amidst this whole hullaballoo of glamour and politics, it is easy to overlook the true representatives, the real geniuses - the Scientists, Engineers and the Salespeople of our country. One such man is Tathagat Avatar Tulsi. The Times of India carried a brief story on him recently (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/City/Mumbai/I-was-programmed-to-be-a-genius/articleshow/6189283.cms )

Tathagat Avatar Tulsi was born after kathor tapasya (extensive meditation) and well planned sex. As an unborn child, Tathagat overheard his father talking about the Schrodingers equation with his wife from the womb. This kind of practice is common in India. When father Tulsi was about to explain the relativistic corrections, he realized surprisingly that his wife was fast asleep and stopped expounding on the equation further. As a result, baby Tulsi was left at a hairs distance from understanding the equation and achieving instant martyrdom.

Growing up is never easy for child prodigies. Jealousy is common place and the less gifted always try to pull you down. I was always jealous of the fellow in school who could curl his tongue in a W shape and touch the tip of his nose or the dude at the back who could approach a girl and talk to her for more than 10 seconds without stumbling. If tongue curlers and ear movers could generate so much jealousy and hatred in a fellow human being, I wonder what the kids at the kindergarten felt like when they spotted their classmate reading the Brief History of Time while they were still stuck with D for Djibouti and K for Knom Penh. If it were me, I would have done what “we people” like to do best - Blown myself to smithereens. Shudder.

As the article mentions, Tathagat according to a hindu dictionary of names means a child with a quick mind and an ability to accomplish a great deal in a short period of time. Given the way he is going, it seems like the man has a massive shortage of time. The guy is so fast , it makes nuclear fission look like nuclear fusion (ha ha ha) If he keeps exhausting all known science to humans and solves all unanswered problems, I wonder what he’ll be left with to accomplish by the time he is 25 ? Maybe he should get involved with Balika Vadhu, that’s a good time killer.

No matter what the critics say, I think this man has raised the bar for all us and set a great example for the current generation – a true global ambassador. We shall all conceive programmed genius male children in the future.


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