September 30, 2006

A Pack of Scoundrels - Part 1

My previous post had most of my friends in tears (They got senti with the flush tank analogy). After they were done with their boohoo, they started asking me for more. Hence in celebration of my association with these people, starting from this post, I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to all those who managed to influence my life and shaped me into such a kind and compassionate human being.

Vijay Kongara: Also known as the "ladies man" sometimes by people other than himself. Rushdie's protege since childhood. Known for making simple things seem complicated. Initially, I used to feel scared to converse with him. I used to think he was speaking in some remote European language. But then I started recording his sentences mentally and later replay them in slow motion to figure out what he is saying, a trick which everybody who watched the DPS MMS clip are familiar with. But waiters in irani cafes across Hyderabad could never pick up that trick. One of the chaps who never forgets to give me a treat on his birthday. He is now working in a tea centre in Chennai. And he writes code during his spare time for an MNC.

Jasmine Shah (Male): Dexterous with the badminton racquet and the toothpick. What Schumacher did it with his super cool Ferrari-RTZ-234-435-120, Jas did the same with his Bajaj Priya- nineteen hundred and seventy two model registered in the ancient town of Silvassa, Dadra and Nagar Haveli, India.(To spot this on the Map, just make sure you look carefully under a microscope. Jo sacchhe dil se dhoondte hain, unhe kuch bhi miltaa hai) When I was told that a certain "Jasmine Shah" is going to be my roommate in college, I was expecting a cute little thing wearing braces and hair clips with the nails polished and the feet pedicured.But instead, I saw some big brawny freakazoid wearing a friggin smile and munching potato wafers in my room. Apparently, the two guys in my room had occupied the window side cots leaving the one in the middle for me. *&^%$#@ . My dad had later told me that this one seemed like a nice guy. Poor dad of mine. He's become old and he has lost his sense of what is good and what is bad. People tell me that he is a good sportsman. I think Schumacher is better. Winnie the Pooh remains his favourite character till date. Abhi iska cigarette ka dhanda hai. And I think theek thaak kamaa leta hai.

Revanth Reddy: I owe my crappy writing to him. I remember, he had asked me to cowrite a play along with him back in school- called "An Interview". The play was later termed as a big disgrace to theatre. It was an assortment of roadside jokes and dirty one liners plagiarized from films. But ever since then, I continued making artificial attempts at writing but with no luck whatsoever. If not for him, I would have been doing something more meaningful in my spare time - stamp collection, empty cigarette box collection , salsa etc., He was very particular about his table manners. He made sure he never kept his elbows on the table while eating. But I'm not very sure where he kept them though. He carries himself off with great elegance and has this sense of cool all over him. Like for example he doesnt care a damn if some nincompoop from back school starts writing mean things about him and posts it on his blog. Now he is in the US happliy munching his Lasagne without scratching his plate.

Rahul Reddy: An analytical thinker. From Rakhee Sawant's costume selection to Upen Patel's Hindi accent, he can give you tailor-made analytical answers for everything. He once started explaining me how it all runs in his family, how his grand father and great grand father were studs and hence the fact that he is a stud shouldn’t be taken as a big piece of amusing information but as a natural extension of inheritance. And a la Stanley Kubrick - he too has radical ideas. He feels pornographic films lack good production quality. If made properly-with a good background score, subtle art direction and an innovative screenplay and then marketed using appropriate channels, he thinks he can capture a big market. I have been begging him for a role but he seems to be having someone else in mind. He tried playing football for sometime but somehow he could never make it big there. He is now sitting on top of my head.

Sheetal Chawla: She thinks she is good-looking. And I being a very accommodating friend and a well wisher, let her think as she wishes. After all, everybody is entitled to an opinion. So what if she has this big scar on her forehead, a fat mole on her cheek, an eternally running nose and a freaky smile, dil ki to acchhi hai.One of the many girls I know (all two of them) who is not THAT stupid. She can dance, she can sing, she can play. But so can I. And unlike other girls I know(You know, all two of them), she can cook food. But so can I. The first time I met her, she told me she owns eighteen pairs of sandals. What was I expected to make of that? Anyway, she also thinks John Abraham is the second most sexiest guy on this planet. And before you guys start asking me her phone number, let me tell you that she is committed to this other guy who I understand has written a slightly better testimonial for her. She is now pursuing a course in management.

As you can see, this by no means can be a complete list of people who shaped me into a kind and compassionate human being. I tried to select a decent mix (school, college, work, gultie, non gultie). Those of you, who don’t find their names in the list above, please do not worry. I have similar feelings for you. This is an ongoing process. As and when I get time (which I do seem to have a lot), I'll keep posting more such crap. Now you guys go and take care, while I go and pump some iron. Peace, love and empathy.


Blogger moodygoody said...

ZZZimply Osssuuumm...

9:37 AM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

More than zimmply ossuumm... man, you are dead meat! Please please tell us links of the blogs of those who were mentioned here, and I'll make sure that I see the story to its finish!

Had a blast reading these... thanks!! :D

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These guys cant spell n-i-n-c-o-m-p-o-o-p properly, you expect them to blog ?

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thinking of the profile views of those guys in orkut :)


12:07 PM  
Anonymous hindu blog said...

It's sensational post. I liked it.

2:10 AM  

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