September 18, 2006

Orkut

Some may say that life without friends is like a tree without blossom and fruit, a shower without a soap, a jeans without a back pocket, a trouser without a zipper, hindware without a flush tank - whatever. Basically life without friends sucks. Just like Monica Lewinsky. But thats a different matter altogether. Now where were we? Monica Lewinsky? No, friends.. Yes right, friends.And so a young companionless man called Orkut Bayonkotten ( with a double dot over the second o - You know I'm a man of synctactical(sintactical? syntaktical? cinktatatikal ?) excellence..) mused, deliberated, pondered, huffed, puffed with his computer and came out with this website that took the world and especially software firms and engineering colleges across India by a blizzard . Orkut - the latest breakthrough of the world wide web - a gift to mankind - and the womankind. Nowhere are the successes of "Let me show you how many friends I have" movement been more evident than on Orkut. From the Rahul Reddy's to the Gautam Singhania's to the Jitin Nagpal's, people are braving new worlds, breaking new ground and forging new relationships. People who were walking the streets of the nation, lonely and secluded, aloof and desperate, now have something to look forward to when they are not picking their noses or talking to their girl friends over the phone.

Ever since its inception, Orkut has managed to attract all kinds of people. And of course it has also attracted all immoral and disgusting bloggers or some immoral and disgusting bloggers or atleast one immoral and phew, disgusting blogger.The author had a chance to browse through quite a few profiles on the website in the recent past. On a first take, the snaps on the pages seem to have been chosen with utmost care and meticulous pondering "yeh nahin, isme main moti lag rahee hoon. yeh bhi nahin, isme meri naak thedi lag rahee hai. isme I'm looking too short, hmmmm yeh theek hai." And some who are completely convinced that any kind of personal snap if posted on the net will trigger angry reactions and violent demonstrations from the aesthetically inclined groups, end up posting some funny jpegs and pictures of film stars. And apparently everbody on this planet seem to think of themselves as sophisticated rebels.To cite an example of my complex and extensive internal investigation, one guys self appraisal ( what he thinks of himself ) reads thus - "Glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity". !!!!! What the F*&k was that? I'm sure this manic depressive is a plain, uninteresting, mousy, unattractive sleazeball who plagiarized these lines from some remote lyrics of the 60's in an attempt to attract some attention without really understanding what they mean. Glittering prizes? Endless compromises? Integrity? Bastard.

Jokes apart, the concept of friendship now seems to be geared towards a completely mechanical routine with the invention of more such "coool" websites.It is becoming tangible and quantifyable. Which in my view is sheer blasphemy. The transcendental connection between the physical and the metaphysical (as spoken by Kant in his theory of categorical imperative :-) and the horizon which is supposed to expand as we keep approaching it, seem to have been left far far behind. Now I seem to be sounding too preachy. But basically, I'm not against you catching up with your old school mates and chaddi friends who used to stay in your neighborhood on Orkut. But lets not stretch it beyond that. I honestly feel communicating by Orkut with your colleague who sits next to you isnt a very cool idea. It sucks. Just like ummm, whatever. Now hang on. I know some of you are devout Orkut fans who cannot digest a meal without peeping into the lives of all your friends and their friends and their friends' friends and the pictures of all folks dressed in tight overalls or who you think should be dressed in tight overalls or..(ok, this is going nowhere and creating embarrasingly low standards). Please dont get worked up. And dont send me hate mail. Now you guys have a good time while I go and read the interesting scraps exchanged between THAT unattractive sleazeball and his friends. Peace, love and empathy.

PS: I was tagged by Sudipta quite some time back. I'm supposed to pen five of my weird traits and post it here so that others can laugh at my misery. Next time maybe.If thats what makes you happy.

2 Comments:

Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Yeah, that will make me insanely happy: or maybe as happy as when something(body?) sucks! :D

As usual, awesome post, dude! Where were you all these days? Looking forward to more of these, man!

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Your affable neighbour said...

You should write more often !

9:04 AM  

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