February 14, 2006

To see or not to see?
A Valentine's Day Feature

The good news first. I thought I'll be a little modest and put this at the end. But then I realized it is highly unlikely that you folks would survive through the whole post.This blog is now google ad-sense powered. Yes really ! You can see the ads on the top of the page. Some morons on google found this site suitable for conspiring against frustated blog-readers. Its pretty random stuff but mostly it is jeevansaathi.com. The fact that you are reading my blog explains it all.I won’t ask you guys to click them but nevertheless, I would like to inform you that I slept ( alone) without having my dinner yesterday. And those damn officials are refusing to renew my ration card.

Well now for the actual babble. You can actually ignore the heading. That’s just a cheap gimmick to sell myself. If there was anything to be said about valentines day,I would be the last person on this planet to do it. Not that I do not want to, but it is more of a dearth of experience to do it. I'm more into the consoling my brothers( and sisters ?) these days. Romance is in the air, fragrance of roses and musk is tickling in the nostrils of romeos and bohemian proposals seem to be the order of the day. Yet, most of "us" are wondering how to spend the day without hurting your egos. I shall now tell you five things which "we" hot shot dandys can engage in, which those "romantic" brummels cannot.

1. Digging cricket pitches : By far, the most popular gambit undertaken by crabbed psycopaths. It might not be all that romantic to do it with your date but when a pack of self proclaimed des-premi individuals get together, there is nothing more relaxing than digging a cricket pitch. And you get exclusive footage on T.V which you can record and show it to your grandchildren (If you are planning to have any).

2. Picking noses : Imagine yourselves going on a date with that lovely lady on whom you had a crush but she is going out with that $#%^&* $%^&#.(Its not hard to imagine, aint it?) Imagine the plight of that $%^&* #@$%^ which he suddenly feels that irresistable urge to scratch his back or pick his nose. Well you see, we have a winner right away. So scratch away that back(or whatever you want) for as long as you want to. Meanwhile, you can as well lick that dal stuck between your fingers without fearing any malignant side effects.

3. Sleep : You have the whole bed to yourself. What more can you ask for ?

4. Catch a flick : I hear commotion all around. When watching a film together is considered one of the most romantic acts in this digital era, why put it in my list ? Well, the flicks I'm talking about are different flicks. You just cannot watch them with your date. No, its simply not possible. I'm talking about the critically acclaimed and award winning films that were screened in Berlin Film Festivel. Seriously, what were you guys thinking ?

And finally

5. Blog : You can give me a run for my money by starting your own blog.But heres a deal. I read yours, you read mine. How romantic ! I've become so cheap now-a-days. But blogging is cheap, easy and good time pass during office hours. Baaki time, you can continue digging cricket pitches.

PS : As a side note, let me know if you are friendless and looking for a shoulder to rest on. 200 bucks per person that would be. And if you are the sole heir to a billion dollar industry, you get 100% discount. If you are a non male, apply with a photgraph and biodata for 'fellow'ships.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely spiffying ol chap

4:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what's more fun than digging pitches on Valentines' Day? Scaring away couples from markets. It's a proven stress-buster recommended by rashtriya lonely hearts club. Much more effective if you can pick up something saffron to wear for the day.

6:17 AM  
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