April 15, 2005

Eyes Wide Open

Mai tau raaz e dil chupaaoon par chhipa rehne bhi de....
Jaan ki dushman yeh zaalim aankh lalchaai hui.....

Ever heard a fairy tale in which a certain prince Sajid is the protoganist?Well,here goes...Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess who seemed to have everything anyone could possibly want.She had a lovely palace,huge estates and everybody in the kingdom liked(I said liked) her.Yet, she longed for just one more thing--A handsome prince.She grew up playing and dancing and giggling, occasionally dreaming about her prince.And on her 21st(I thought 21 is optimum) birthday,the princess decided to try her luck and started wandering in the woods on her little pony.And then she came across a little wooden door she had never seen before. She opened it and climbed up a staircase which led to the top of a very high tower.She went inside the chambers and saw a handsome prince(ahem ,thats me) sleeping soundly(u think the roles have been reversed here..dont u?.Well )...At that precise moment the birds outside started chirping, the leaves rustled in the breeze and elves were dancing in the forests of Satyamangalam...And then....And then the most dreadful thing happened.The prince(again me) opened his eyes...eeeeeeeeeeeeech..... Whaaaat creepy pair of eyes!!!! She exclaimed...And saying that, the princess turned around and took to her heels....Neend khul gayee....Kahaani khatam.......A new day begins...time for a little java coding....

Hip brethren, fellow musicians, country men and blog readers...Gasp..My eyes...The only thing that stands between me and 26 denim clad spanish and 31 salwar clad punjabi lasses in resorte Cote d' Azur in a remote corner of Monte Carlo.However ,my folks tell me that I was born with medium sized eyes and an honest looking face(The face is still honest looking)..And then people started asking me to be more alert, look out for things and stop blinking..They grew bigger and bigger as I tried to fit the whole world into them.And at the same time the world grew smaller, thanks to rapid growth in communication technology...Miniature world...Colossal eyes...A Permanent adjustment...And I,Sajid Hussain equipped with the most unusual pair of optical sockets became heavily embroiled in fate.(With due apologies to Rushdie)..Well as Morpheus puts it, fate it seems is not without a sense of irony.God went mad with colours when he was making my eyes... Instead of bright blue skies dropping into my pupils, he chose blood red instead and decided to give Brad Pitt a chance...Half the time people keep asking me if I'm drunk... And the remaining time,they are nice to me.They ask me if I woke up just then.

And this comes with a free gift..If you havnt seen me staring then you havnt experienced fear.My signature blaaank stare has taken many a brave hearted fellow beings by storm.I have this unusual tendency to face an arbitrary direction ,open my eyes wide(as wide as they can get) and start contemplating about life, the path to Nirvana, its implications, my fictitious girlfriend and her prospective boyfriends. Once when I was travelling by train to Chennai, one Mr Chintu came up to me and asked me why I was staring at him and his wife.And the worst part was I wasnt even aware I was staring at them.And people tell me that when I do that,it appears as if I've been tied down to the rails and an express train coming at 300kmph is gonna go over me anytime or that I'm carrying a .45 automatic and ready to go on a rampage anytime. One of my cousins(actually my nephew but I do not want people to think that there exists a creature in this world who would call me 'uncle' at such a tender age.) is so damn scared of me that his mom threatens him by faking my presence in the vicinity...'Home work karlo munnaa warnaa Sajid aajayegaa....Khaana khaalo munna warnaa Sajid uthaake lejaayega....Woh dekho bhoot aagayaa...'Poor chap,he takes me for one of those villians straight from a Ram Gopal Verma flick..And I need to be extra conscious when I'm near females...I could be gazing at them unconsciously and I'm always afraid that some big brother or an ugly looking boyfriend of hers might pop up from somewhere with a few musclemen and bash me up with hockey sticks..I dont wanna get hurt you know...After all, if something happens to me,what will happen to all the chickens in the world?Think about it.Peace, love and empathy......

3 Comments:

Blogger Alpha0 said...

haha..:))
Simply hilarious.
Oh! Whenever I saw you staring at monitor I thought you are really busy solving some np-hard problem.

2:13 AM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Too good!! Puhleeaz upload one of your photos and let us view the re-incarnation of _____ ... you can fill in the blanks!

Jokes apart, really loved the post!

5:48 AM  
Blogger Just Me said...

Get a pair of the Sania Mirza glasses. They're hot. They're in.

And nobody will discuss your eyeballs again..

2:11 PM  

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